To date this has been the coldest spring on record -or at least in my recent memory.
My fall/winter 2010/11 wardrobe has become past boring and may actually need to
be buried in my backyard alongside the tombstones of my deceased pets -however
impossible because spring has been so miserable that my family home and backyard
is actually flooded -honestly I'm not making that up. I have complained for months
that it is high time to take the tags off of the spring/summer11 wear and get this
season started. Through the complaints, I was secretly enjoying my pale skin, extra
binge weight and the comfort of knowing that if I devoured just one more extra extra
large frostee from Wendy's I was safe because I would not need to wear a bathing
suit anywhere, anytime soon -and then my bubble burst.
Summer started yesterday with absolutely no preparation memo -rude. Suddenly my
blackberry was filled with invitations to meet at the beach and the temperature was
too warm to show up hiding under leggings and sweaters. Frantically I spent the day
hiking up and down the largest hill I could find working my muscles to the point of
absolute exhaustion. Being Gemini and incredibly organized I was sure to hike a hill
with a spray tan booth at the bottom so that I didnt waste anytime covering my pale
winter skin. With public enemy number one (fat skin) and public enemy number two
(white skin) under control the only task left was to stock up on the number one summer
staple -rad bikinni.
With shaking muscles and the orange of the spray tan still evident between my fingers
my search for the perfect summer suit began. Browsing all of my favorite sites
(shopbop.com, revolveclothing.com, victoriassectret.com) I realized that there had
to be an easier way to get summer ready. Stomping up and down a mountain and
spraying orange paint on myself all of a sudden seemed like too much trouble
-couldnt I just order the body modelling the suit with the suit? I mean I can order
everything else, why not a new body too?
In conclusion of this confession I would simply like to summarize: Dear Bathing Suit
Distributers, Winter has been long this year and I am a very busy girl. I would like to
purchase summer attire but only with a guarantee that I can have the models body too.
Thank you, Me (Glam Gril)